- by Carrie Shaw
- on March 22, 2026
Over the past three years, I’ve had the absolute privilege and pleasure of meeting once a week with a group of Christians, for dinner, chats, wine, and Bible study.
There is something about eating together that connects people. Sharing food is one of the simplest, most human ways we open our lives to one another.
Around a table, barriers soften, stories come out, laughter flows more easily, and the ordinary rhythms of life become shared rather than solitary. Meals have a way of knitting hearts together in a way little else can.
It is no wonder that the apostolic writers encouraged believers to be “given to hospitality,” and that one of the distinctives of the early church was their devotion to breaking bread together.
Meals were not an optional extra or a social add-on. They were a tangible expression of grace, the beating heart of their communal life. Around shared tables, strangers became family, needs were noticed, burdens were carried, and the gospel was embodied in the simple act of welcoming one another as Christ had welcomed them.
In our little connect group, we’ve made our way through the book of Ephesians, started in on the gospel of Luke, enjoyed a range of culinary delights and revelled in getting to know not just the Bible a little better each week but each other as well.
We’ve shared the joys of life – weddings, babies, job successes, and amazing travel experiences.
We’ve celebrated the ‘ordinary parts’ of life too, enjoying good food, good company, and countless laughs over the funny little moments and quirks of simply being human.
And we’ve consoled one another in the lows – illness, difficult family situations, loss of home and property, death of loved ones, and even a near-death experience within our own group.
It has been a remarkable journey – a diverse group of humans brought together in the strangest of ways, whose lives might never have crossed paths apart from their shared love of Jesus.
The truth is that our lives are very different, our experiences are diverse, and our interests vary widely. The fact that we choose to gather each week around the Word and share life with Jesus together is, quite frankly, only a work of the Holy Spirit. It’s miraculous and it’s amazing, and it’s a powerful testimony to Jesus’ own words: “that’s how they’ll know.”
Moments like these make me realise why Jesus said what he did on the night before his death, because he knew exactly how his followers would be recognised in the world.
A New Commandment
It was Passover, the night before Jesus would be betrayed, handed over to the authorities, tried, convicted and later crucified on a Roman cross. He had gathered with his disciples to celebrate this ancient Jewish feast, knowing that his ministry and time on earth were coming to an end and, as John’s gospel puts it, “that he had loved his disciples to the very end.”
Knowing this, he took the opportunity to firstly wash their feet and then, just a little later, he spoke directly with them about his impending departure and what that would mean for them.
“I am going away,” he told them, “and where I go, you can’t come. But I want to give you a new commandment. Love one another. Just as I have loved you, I want you to love another. And that’s how they’ll know. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.“
That’s how the world would know – by their love.
Not by their unity, although unity among believers is a wonderful thing and something to be aspired to. Not by their doctrine, even though doctrine is important and distinctives provide clarity for the faith. Not by their practices, traditions, or the particular way they gather on a Sunday.
Jesus said his people would be known by their love.
Real, observable, self-giving love that reflected his own. That is the mark he gave the world to recognise his disciples – not sameness, not perfect agreement, but Christlike love lived out in community.
Love Is The Foundation Stone
One of the most challenging things for Christians, particularly those raised in hyper-fixated doctrinal environments, is grasping this very thing – that it is our love, not our perfect agreement, that will convince the watching world of Jesus.
Let’s face it, the Christian landscape is incredibly diverse. Ever since Martin Luther nailed his 95 theses to the Wittenberg church door (and perhaps even before that), Christians have understood things differently.
Not the big stuff, of course, like the virgin birth or resurrection.
But the smaller stuff, like worship style, liturgical practice, church structure, the way we handle spiritual disciplines, or how we organise mission and community life. These aren’t insignificant, but they’re not the core of the gospel either. They’re the places where personality, culture, preference, history and interpretation naturally show up.
And because no two humans are exactly alike (even twins aren’t the same in every respect, believe it or not), uniformity (which many Christians mistake for unity) will never be achievable. Nor is it the intent of Christian relationship anyway.
What’s the point of being a homogeneous community when it comes to doctrine but filled to the brim with dislike, barely tolerating one another in relationships?
That’s certainly not the way Jesus was with his disciples, despite their uncertainties, despite their stupidity, despite their ignorance, and despite their differences.
He served them, showed them patience and kindness, spoke truth to their hearts and into their lives, and, ultimately, died for them, and in doing so, showed that the heart of discipleship is not sameness of thought but the self-giving love that flows from him.
Does that mean that doctrines aren’t important? Not at all. Our doctrine is the shape of our Christian faith, marking out the edges of what is Christian and what is not. Good theology leads us deeper into the heart and mind of God, growing our faith and our understanding of things of eternal weight.
Doctrine is the framework of our Christian house, but the foundation and heart is Christ himself. Everything is built upon and around him, and in him all things are held together. Love, as demonstrated by Christ, is the first stone laid in our house of faith.
All the theology in the world is only as good as the foundation it’s built on. If our house isn’t built upon the rock, which is Christ, it’s not a house that will ultimately prevail in the storms that will inevitably come.
First We Were Loved; Now We Love
This is what we know for sure: it is God Himself who first initiates reconciliation. In the sending of His Son to die for our sins and open the way home, we see how much God loved the world.
It was while we were still enemies, unreconciled to God and dead in sin, that Christ died for us. This gives us the shape of what love looks like. First, we were loved; now we love.
Paul the Apostle comments that it is because of Christ that we can now come boldly and confidently into God’s presence. And, he further contemplates, it is the roots that believers grow down into God’s love that will keep them strong, enabling them to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high and how deep God’s love really is.
It is this love – the love of God received and expressed – that will be the most powerful witness of all to the world watching on. That’s how they’ll know.
In the connect group I’ve been part of, we don’t see some aspects of Christian life the same. Not at all. We all come from different traditions, different expressions, different expectations of what church should look like, and different histories that have shaped how we understand Scripture.
And yet, week after week, we sit together. We pray together. We open the Bible together. We listen, ask questions, share honestly, and keep coming back – not because we agree on every detail, but because we share the same Lord, the same gospel, and the same desire to grow in him.
And, ultimately, it’s the acknowledgement of the Lordship of Jesus and his claim on our lives that unites us, it’s his Spirit that connects us, and it’s his love that binds us together in a beautiful unity that defies our differences, our backgrounds, and even our disagreements. It’s a unity we could never manufacture on our own, because it doesn’t come from us. It comes from him.
Love Is The Glue That Binds Us Together
Many Christians struggle with the concept of love, not doctrine, being the glue of Christian relationships. Their concept of love is perhaps the insipid, tolerant kind that shrugs at truth and treats unity as nothing more than getting along. But that is not the love Jesus spoke about.
Christian love is robust, honest, self-sacrificial, willing to speak truth with gentleness, and willing to bear with one another even when convictions differ.
Real Christian love has depth. It’s shaped by the cross, grounded in truth, and strengthened by the Spirit. It doesn’t pretend that differences don’t matter, and it doesn’t require anyone to abandon conviction.
Instead, it calls us to humility. It teaches us to treat one another with patience, to listen carefully, to speak kindly, and to assume the best rather than the worst.
It helps us carry one another’s burdens and to remain committed to one another even when conversations are difficult. This kind of love is not weak or sentimental. It is the steady, costly, Christlike love that Jesus said would show the world who his disciples truly are.
I can honestly say that I have never been loved more deeply, more honestly, or more authentically than by the group I meet with each week.
They have taught me so powerfully that the way you love another person says far more about your grasp of the gospel than the precision of your theology ever will. They have shown me that doctrine matters, yes, but without love it becomes cold and weighty, tightening by degrees until it becomes a cage – no longer a house built on Christ but a structure emptied of his love.
Love, shaped by Christ and strengthened by the Spirit, is what gives doctrine its true beauty. It is what makes truth livable, believable, and compelling.
And, as Jesus told us long ago, that’s how they’ll know. His words still echo today: “Love one another as I have loved you. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”
That’s How They’ll Know
When I look around that table each week, I see living proof of what Jesus said. A group of ordinary people, all different, all on our own journeys within the greater story that God is writing, held together by Jesus’ love.
And if the world ever wonders what makes us his, the answer is simple. It is not our sameness. It is not our certainty. It is not our polished theology. It is the love of Christ taking shape in us, one meal, one prayer, one shared life at a time.
If there is one thing my little connect group has taught me, it is this: the love of Christ is not theoretical. It’s lived, shared, practised, and received in community.
And when we choose to love one another as he has loved us, we bear the mark he said the world would recognise. That is still the calling, and it’s still the witness the world most desperately needs.
